Star: My Sisters

Star was my first child sex abuse client.  I talked about her matter last year when I described how it is that I pursued child molesters and sex abusing priests.  As a result of an unexpected visit by one of my sisters, yesterday I have been thinking about Star's father, one of the most evil and vile men I ever encountered.  My father was by degrees, only slightly less criminal.  Star's father got caught and paid a price in the physical world; my Dad was able to manipulate and play his children and family against one another creating by crimes, generations of injury and harm.  Two of my sisters spent some time over the weekend trying to get a grip on some of the parameters of the injuries he inflicted on his children and possibly grandchildren.  Unfortunately, the subject intruded like an uninvited guest at my 4th of July festivities. 

I love my sisters and brothers, but it is not lost on me that the estrangement among us is a continuing pattern of behavior fostered by the child molester, our father, to cover-up his crimes against my sisters and the other young women he had contact with throughout his lifetime.  We brothers and sisters continue to act out and keep one another at arms length and maybe blame one another for injuries he inflicted on us.  I've seen cats sit at a screen door and stare out at an interloper cat on their front porch, only to attack one another.  We do this.

Star's father molested every child in his family but primarily the three sisters.  Star was a a "Harley chick" and a tattoo centerfold, years before tatoo'ing went "mainstream."  Star's sister was a banker, and looked like a banker.  At the trial of their father, the banker sister got on the stand and attacked Star as a liar and manipulator and cheat and drug addict.  I asked the sister: so who taught Star to be a liar, cheat, manipulator, etc.  Her honest answer:  our Dad.  A jury awarded Star $5.5 million dollars (like most of the millions of dollars of verdicts I racked up over the years, substantially "uncollectable.")

My sisters, to some degree or another, have come to view one another less than charitably, I think.  My one sister has admittedly made some awful choices, my other sister has stepped in and helped her out with parenting, my other sister has been until receently--broken-hearted and uncommunicative with both of her sisters.  It goes on and on and while we are all adults and responsible for our conduct, we have forgotten who manipulated our feelings and why he did those things to us.  He did those things to us so he could commit crimes against children and others!  That we don't see that we are perpetuating these harms against one another is just one more crime he is committing against us from beyond the grave.

I gave my father too much free rent in my head over the years.  I used his crimes against me and my sisters as a reason to relapse into alcoholism after 12 years of sobriety.  The self-righteous bastard I became as a lawyer--who was incompetent to even run a business--justified his mis-guided and ultimately self-destructive crusades as a war of angels against devils.  This is my father's legacy.  Fuck him!

For my sisters and brothers, I love you and I wish you peace, and grace, and love.

Dad Can Take Daughter to Church

Joseph Reyes (in the pic) faced contempt of court sanctions in family court for taking his daughter to Catholic Church services over the objections of the girl's mother, who is raising her in the Jewish faith.  Late yesterday afternoon, Judge Renee Goldfarb announced that he is entitled to take her to Christmas and Easter services and Mom can take the daughter to. . . well, here is the excerpt from the Chicago Tribune article by Manya Brachear:

"Judge Renee Goldfarb said Tuesday that Joseph Reyes can take his daughter to 'church services during his visitation time if he so chooses. This court also ordered that Joseph have visitation with [their daughter] every year on Christmas and Easter.'  Likewise, the order stipulated that Rebecca Reyes always have their daughter on Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur and Passover.

'I have to be very, very happy that I got additional time with my daughter and got to expose [her] to all of who I am,' Joseph Reyes said.

Goldfarb declined to keep Reyes from taking his daughter to church as long as no evidence exists that it would harm the child. Though Rebecca Reyes testified that contrary religious teachings could confuse the pre-schooler, Goldfarb avoided doctrinal questions, saying it was not the court's place 'to focus on or attempt to interpret or judge official religious doctrines.'

'She is three years old and, according to Joseph, while at church, she waves at the other children, looks around and giggles,' Goldfarb wrote. 'This court found that testimony credible.' The ruling in the divorce proceeding between Joseph and Rebecca Reyes lifts restrictions placed on Joseph Reyes last year that barred him from exposing his daughter to any 'non-Jewish" r'ligious activity. The injunction was imposed after Reyes sent photographs of his daughter's baptism to his estranged wife, who had not known about the baptism."
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Yesterday I remarked in a comment to the post about the shrink who's suing the homeless man, that I find much of what happens in our world heartless and inexplicable. 

When this story was first reported on the wires I held my fire to see what would develop.  I am relieved that common sense seems to have prevailed.  Any reader of this blawg realizes that the Bad Lawyer has enormous respect for religion, being both a pissed off, Roman Catholic married to an Episcopalian who practices Kabbalah. 

Send My Sister to the Slammer!

The lady in the picture is telling a sentencing Judge that her sister should be sent to the slammer for "embezzling" funds from theri parents' retirement account, maybe $100,000, maybe more.  The account at MLive by John Tunison is a classic recurring drama that runs in families with aged parents that I've seen played out over and over again.  The woman in the picture is Janet Unger, her sister Eloise Russo was Grand Rapids-area, guardian rendering care to her parents and two mentally handicapped brothers.  Ms. Russo misappropriated funds according to Probate Court records.

I actually defended a federal lawsuit not dissimilar to this case in which three vicious siblings made outrageous allegations of misappropriation of funds.  The conduct of one of the sisters in the case I defended was os over the top that the Federal Judge hearing the case was on the verge of jailing her for discourtesy.  Every hearing was like being "racked."   As it turns out, unlike the situation in Michigan nearly every dime was accounted for and legitimately spent by the other family members for their mother's support.  The argument was about control and who would get what when mother ultimately died.  When Mom died the lawsuit ended. . . well, changed venues and states. How do you spell relief. . . change of venue.

The story of Mrs. Unger and her sister brings it back.  Mrs. Unger's account of her sister's misdeeds sounds a little exaggerated.  Her courtroom language was florid, and I get the impression that the Judge who was asked to send the sister to the slammer concluded that Mrs. Unger was not too impressed by the sister's plea to jail her sibling..  The Judge gave the sister, Mrs. Russo, probation, although Mrs. Russo is going to have to deal with restitution requirements in Probate Court. 

I am so beleaguered by the dark side of the internet, cable news, disciplinary and tax nightmares, that a good old family feud was a slight relief. 

There is so little love and compassion in the world.  It's funny that I would talk about love, but I loved what I did as an advocate for people.  I was the Bad Lawyer, but I cared about my clients and the wrongs being done to them.  But I don't think I ever lost the feeling of compassion or empathy for others.  The deep loss I feel, the shame and humiliation makes it very difficult to stand upright.  I keep telling myself, don't quit--so, I think, what must it be like for a woman like Mrs. Russon to stand in court and hear her sister tell a Judge to send her to jail over money that may or may not have been spent on the care of their parents.  In that case Mrs. Russo lost her job, her family, and now her reputation.  Very sad.