A Jimmy T Archive Found!

It's been quite awhile since we've done fashion diktats at Bad Lawyer, in the interim, I thought I'd share a Jimmy T, archive I located at the Youngstown Vindicator website.  Ah, the sublimeness that is Jimmy T.

Style Diktats for Lawyers--Shirt's, Ties, and more

If it's Jimmy T, it must be time for Fashion for Lawyers!  Former Congressman Traficant so nailed the whole fashion thing that adding words seems superfluous. 

The photo really does not do justice to the sheer awfulness of what's going on with Traficant-style.  Let's begin with the fact that the only natural fiber in the whole ensemble are his eyebrows and maybe some of the sideburn action.  That he was able to get his customary double-knit in a dark color is surprising to me.  But I'm not here to praise Jimmy's suits or his toupee, but instead I'm here to bury the shirt and the 70s wedding singer ties.

As your Bad Lawyer and fashion guide, I will grant great latitude to shirt and tie choices.  But there must be some standards--the shirt at left is an excellent choice, Hathaway, Arrow, this happens to be a Perry Ellis, it does not matter.  It is traditional.  It is clean and pressed.  As a rule I believe with a classic suit your collar should not be button down, I personally believe that while button down shirts are acceptable, they should only be worn with a blazer and slacks.  I like French cuffs, but they are extra work on those bleary mornings following a late night in the coal mines, and an expense for young lawyers on a budget.  Likewise, I have many custom made shirts all monogrammed BAD--these are magnificent but expensive. In reality there is one absolute rule:  Men: wear a goddamn t-shirt underneath, noone wants to see your torso, noone wants to think about your manboobies, noone wants to smell your manly musk.

Your shirts and blouses do not have to be white, and far too often I see lawyers whose shirts were once white and should have long since been consigned to the dustbins of history.   Respect yourself, folks, when the shirt cuffs and collar begin to fray toss it.  Oh, one word of advice on care:  wear it once, launder, wear it again, launder, repeat...your shirts will last infinitely longer if you launder it.  You will smell so much better if you launder it.  A shirt looks better in my opinion if you have it professionally done, with light starch.   Find a good dry cleaner, make the investment in keeping yourself well groomed.

Ties are a philosophical inquiry unto itself.  The Tie is a gift to mankind from the muses, how can you screw it up?  Look at Jimbo, (above).  In this day and age there is no excuse for not learning how to tie a Tie.  Do not cry to Bad Lawyer, "Bad Lawyer, I was an orphan...I had no Daddy to teach me how to tie my tie, bbbwwwaaaaahhhhhh!"  Suck it up, young lawyer.  In this day and age instruction is a click away:




I leave it to you to screw up tie selection. I myself like traditional tie patterns, stripes, and colors. I won't wear yellow ties after labor day, or before memorial day as I consider that a spring, summer look and I personally avoid faddish ties...can you say, Jerry Garcia? I don't wear light colored ties on dark shirts (in fact I don't wear dark dress shirts.) I love striped shirts but matching a ties with stripes and a suit should not be done by the colored-impaired.


There is much more to be said on this topic. We shall return to lawyer fashions, dos and don'ts, often.

Style diktats for Lawyers (a continuing series)

A fashion icon: Jim Traficant, former Youngstown, Ohio Sheriff, Congressman is the only self-represented RICO defendant to obtain a federal jury acquittal.

As a bit of a fashionista, myself I love returning to contemplate the zen, which is Jim Traficant in denim (with gym bag.)  Will lawyers ever again rise to such fashion heights?  I don't think so.  Then again, Sheriff Jim was not a lawyer, as his second criminal trial and lengthy incarceration proved.

But can we talk about lawyer fashions?

Lawyers should dress well.  Actually, dressing well is an important function of a lawyer.  Many faux pas are forgiven the well-dressed lawyer.  Clients appreciate it whether they know it or not.  Dressing well can be done simply without too much expense.

Grandmas, and Moms of my generation advised granddaughter and daughters to look for good and well-shined shoes in the boyfriends and men their offspring dated.

Believe me, my friends, if on a given day, I have money enough for either a shoe shine or lunch, I ask myself, "how hungry are you?"  A great shoe shine, from a pro is worth more than any anti-depressant I've ever taken.  I have lots of shoes, but the best shoes I have I acquired after talking to the best shoe shine guy I know.  I asked him what are the best shoes he shines, his answer, Allen-Edmonds.  He's right, these shoes are beautiful, comfortable, and after you walk through the soles, or they begin to look dinged up, for less than the price of cheap pair of dress shoes, Allen-Edmonds people restore them for you.   Being a veteran, I know how to shine my own shoes, keep your shoes on shoe trees and keep 'em shined!  Don't wear the same pair of shoes two days in a row, even if you don't perspire a lot, the inside and the outside of the shoe needs to dry out.  In the winter, avoid "rubbers" they destroy the finish of shoes, if salt and snow are an issue, bring your dress shoes in your brief case and change into them.

Socks.  Fer chrissakes! throw away socks with holes in 'em.  Socks should not draw attention themselves.  I tried a case one time where the defense witless, er, witness was a Kmart vice president for human resources. He was rocking some silk numbers that actually attracted attention and said, "I'm a narcissitic asshole who never shopped a Blue Light Special, in his pathetic life."  That was years ago, and a jury knocked this guy's socks off--to this day when I see opposing counsel we talk about how awful his witness was; and, I kid you not a big part of it was this guy's socks.    Dark socks, folks.  Black shoes, black socks, brown shoes, subdued socks.

Suits.  Okay, here's a big life lesson--go see a pro.  Avoid the "wearhouses" and department stores unless you truly are a perfect name-the-size.  If you can get a wad of money together, go to Brooks Brothers--make friends with a salesman with a lot of time in stripe.  Even if you can afford to go only once a year, a well fit conservative suit made with great fabric will repay you.  Don't fool around, at least initially, get the classics--as your wardrobe comes together, buy seasonal weights.  A good move, at the outset classic blazers  terrific slacks, and a great pinstriped 4 season charcoal suit with black wingtips and penny loafers.  Then bit by bit, add a great suit.

We will resume with a discussion of shirts when we revisit the subject.