From NOLA.com: Bounce a Check to the Funeral Parlor, That'll Be a Jailin'

 

"Brenda Harris Simmons left this world on Sept. 4, 2008, at age 65, and was buried a week later after funeral services held at a Baptist church in Algiers. Almost two years later, her husband is charged in state court with writing $9,300 checks to the undertakers that bounced in January 2009.

Share James Simmons, 67, of New Orleans, faces up to ten years in prison if convicted of issuing worthless checks over $500. He appeared in Criminal District Court on Friday, where Judge Terry Alarcon released him on a $100 recognizance bond and then apologized to the senior citizen for having to face charges.

'I've been a judge a long time and I've never done this before, but I'm going to apologize to you,' said Alarcon, a former prosecutor first elected to serve at the Tulane Avenue courthouse in 1996. 'This case is beyond my comprehension. It's an embarrassment to the entire system.'

The judge's usual docket includes murders, robberies and drug-dealing, not the plight of a widower facing prison for trying to properly send off his wife of 46 years, the mother of three. In the case file, however, Simmons is simply accused of purposely avoiding the funeral bill after writing checks that he knew were worthless.

District Attorney Leon Cannizzaro's office accepted the case only after the Murray Henderson Funeral Home in Algiers reported that Simmons had failed to pay a dime since the two separate checks, totaling $9,347, bounced at the bank 14 months after his wife's funeral.

An arrest warrant issued for Simmons said that he 'admitted to the NSF checks and failed to make restitution' to the 101-year-old funeral home, whose owner Constance Selico on Friday declined to comment on the criminal case. Simmons was arrested May 10. He showed up Friday without an attorney. Alarcon asked the public defenders program to represent him, and set a new hearing date for Oct. 1.

'I believe this matter will be resolved before that,' said prosecutor Alex Calenda. 'Prayerfully, I hope so,' said the judge."
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Excellent, Judge!

Brains in a Bag--That's a Lawsuit!

A New Mexico Funeral Home is being sued for sending Mom's personal effects home in a bag, including the lady's brain.  That's right, MOM'S BRAIN is in a bag. 

KXNET.com has this report from the Associated Press.  I quote:

"members of a New Mexico family are suing a funeral home, claiming their mother's brain was sent home in a bag of personal effects given to them after her death.The lawsuit filed on behalf of four family members in state District Court in Albuquerque says the discovery was made the day after interment, when relatives smelled a foul odor coming from a bag they received from DeVargas Funeral Home and Crematory of the Espanola Valley.

Funeral home owner Johnny DeVargas says the fault does not lie with his business, and that another entity in Utah where the woman died in a September car crash was responsible."

Wow.

Don't Drop Dad!

A Phoenix family is suing everyone connected with the funeral of their father.  The Associated Press reports:  "Lawsuits filed by the children, wife and two dozen family members of 50-year-old Robert Gowdy Sr. claim a strap on a casket-lowering device snapped as family was gathered around a grave last year, dropping Gowdy's coffin and breaking it open. Cemetery workers ran away, the family said."

When two family members stepped forward to try to lift the casket, the bottom fell out, literally. Apparently, the casket was of particle board and staple assembly.  Nice.


At the subsequent closed coffin memorial service family members opened the coffin to take a last peek at Dad only to find that he was dressed like a used car salesman wandering the aisles of Wal-Mart in seriously mismatched clothes.  Dad's precipitous fall from the cheapo casket damaged the "burial clothes" purchased for the first go-round.  The funeral home decided not to incur the additional expense of re-attiring Mr. Gowdy with all the splendor of his first fitting.  Real nice.

for more on this case:  http://www.bnd.com/198/story/1027341.html?story_link=email_msg