Monday, August 17, 2009

Disciplinary Complaints

You can get to a disciplinary hearing through a variety of routes; none of them pleasant.

Cheryl, my big-titted secretary attracted the interest of the testosterone-poisoned, senior litigation associate, Marco Pantload. Pantload could not understand how Cheryl could resist his big hairy apeface--so Pantload made her life miserable. Since Pantload was separately shtupping the office manager and presumably his wife--well, let's just say there was tension around the office. When I was let in on the situation sometime after the harassment began I confronted Pantload--there were long term unintended consequences.

Ultimately, Pantload rifled, or had his girlfriend, the office manager--rifle my business records and sure as shit there was plenty of evidence of less than stellar business practices by yours truly including the aforementioned trust account checks paying questionable, non-law related private obligations of Cheryl's. And to be honest,--checks withdrawing attorney fees I had earned that properly should have been first depositied in a law office management account.

You'll be relieved to know that the disciplinary authorities of Your State don't hesitate for a second to prosecute ethical lapses, even technical lapses (the money taken by Cheryl was mine--not client money) even when in this case the motive for the grievance came from a lawyer, like my former associate Marco Pantload seeking revenge over nookie not gotten and ego-shattering allegations of sexual harassment.

Let's be clear, I am not a victim. I made the mistakes, committed the ethical lapses, (oh and so many others for which I will never be held to account) that find me at this moment. My pal Pantload got the information leading the authorities to recommend my suspension because I did the things and created the trail. Fuck me.

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