I stole this anecdote from a website I came across this week for the first time, which has some clever submissions allegedly overheard in court, in fact that is the name of the blawg, Overheard In Court.
Mid-trial hearing stemming from late notice of witness changing testimony:
Defense Atty: Judge, this started way back at the beginning of this case with lack of notice from the prosecutor. They planted the seeds, in the beginning, and now it’s sprouting, and we need…
Judge: We need to examine all the leaves, right?
Defense Atty: Judge, we need to examine the whole arboretum!
US Atty: Your honor, the whole arboretum was in the indictment.
Judge: The prosecutor is not impressed with your arboretum metaphor, Mr. Jones.
Defense Atty: Well, that’s ’cause he’s not from Cincinnati, Judge. We’re more botanical in our orientation in Cincinnati.