Style Diktats for Lawyers--Shirt's, Ties, and more

If it's Jimmy T, it must be time for Fashion for Lawyers!  Former Congressman Traficant so nailed the whole fashion thing that adding words seems superfluous. 

The photo really does not do justice to the sheer awfulness of what's going on with Traficant-style.  Let's begin with the fact that the only natural fiber in the whole ensemble are his eyebrows and maybe some of the sideburn action.  That he was able to get his customary double-knit in a dark color is surprising to me.  But I'm not here to praise Jimmy's suits or his toupee, but instead I'm here to bury the shirt and the 70s wedding singer ties.

As your Bad Lawyer and fashion guide, I will grant great latitude to shirt and tie choices.  But there must be some standards--the shirt at left is an excellent choice, Hathaway, Arrow, this happens to be a Perry Ellis, it does not matter.  It is traditional.  It is clean and pressed.  As a rule I believe with a classic suit your collar should not be button down, I personally believe that while button down shirts are acceptable, they should only be worn with a blazer and slacks.  I like French cuffs, but they are extra work on those bleary mornings following a late night in the coal mines, and an expense for young lawyers on a budget.  Likewise, I have many custom made shirts all monogrammed BAD--these are magnificent but expensive. In reality there is one absolute rule:  Men: wear a goddamn t-shirt underneath, noone wants to see your torso, noone wants to think about your manboobies, noone wants to smell your manly musk.

Your shirts and blouses do not have to be white, and far too often I see lawyers whose shirts were once white and should have long since been consigned to the dustbins of history.   Respect yourself, folks, when the shirt cuffs and collar begin to fray toss it.  Oh, one word of advice on care:  wear it once, launder, wear it again, launder, repeat...your shirts will last infinitely longer if you launder it.  You will smell so much better if you launder it.  A shirt looks better in my opinion if you have it professionally done, with light starch.   Find a good dry cleaner, make the investment in keeping yourself well groomed.

Ties are a philosophical inquiry unto itself.  The Tie is a gift to mankind from the muses, how can you screw it up?  Look at Jimbo, (above).  In this day and age there is no excuse for not learning how to tie a Tie.  Do not cry to Bad Lawyer, "Bad Lawyer, I was an orphan...I had no Daddy to teach me how to tie my tie, bbbwwwaaaaahhhhhh!"  Suck it up, young lawyer.  In this day and age instruction is a click away:




I leave it to you to screw up tie selection. I myself like traditional tie patterns, stripes, and colors. I won't wear yellow ties after labor day, or before memorial day as I consider that a spring, summer look and I personally avoid faddish ties...can you say, Jerry Garcia? I don't wear light colored ties on dark shirts (in fact I don't wear dark dress shirts.) I love striped shirts but matching a ties with stripes and a suit should not be done by the colored-impaired.


There is much more to be said on this topic. We shall return to lawyer fashions, dos and don'ts, often.