Monday, June 21, 2010

Crazy Sally, the Former Client--Crazy Lawyers

Crazy Sally (not her real name) is a former client who occasionally hangs around places I continue to frequent.  This AM Sally was at the "Bucks, where she habituates now that she is nearly homeless.  This morning Sally harangued my pals and myself--about insane shit while working in observations about how I was dressed, how I am a disgraced attorney, how when I represented her she had to fire me because I "ignored her" as I was "doing this morning." Sally once worked as court reporter, here, in OurTown.  At one time she was pretty, hyperactive, and very bright.  Sally was briefly a client and she's quite correct, I was not able or willing to meet her emotional neediness. She hired another attorney.  I do not know anything about the outcome of her legal matter.  I don't talk about the details of her legal matter with anyone, even in this blawg.

I am motivated to talk about Sally, this morning because I'm pretty comfortable talking about how I deal with former clients.  I am honest with former clients about my disciplinary status.  Most former clients shrug their shoulders and say very supportive sorts of stuff, and express misguided outrage at my situation.  Sally is not one of those people.  First of all she is someone with specialized knowledge of the people and places in the profession here in OurTown, secondly she is insane.  I feel terrible for the private hell she lives in--and, I am sickened by the posse of exploitive types that hover around her for God knows what.

This morning the reports on a veteran child abuse prosecutor in Brooklyn, NY who has drawn complaints about her rude and abusive behavior among employees in her office.  When I read this piece I made connections about myself, about a former OurTown prosecutor Melanie Blanc (again, not her real name) who lost her mind and left the profession.  Melanie left the profession after years of representing people like Crazy Sally, and hundreds of sexually abused and exploited children. 

I offer no excuses for my behavior,--I had fantastic mental health counseling available to me--but those of us who do or did this work pay a mental health price. 

This morning I was able to detach, to ignore poor Sally's attempts to interact with me, knowing full well I have nothing constructive to offer her apart from my prayers that God will grant her grace in this life and in the 99% of reality that I don't see and I don't understand.  I once believed that through the sheer force of my will that I could fix certain things in the world, I couldn't even fix myself. 

God's will, not mine be done.

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