Thursday, June 17, 2010

A Dream About Pie-in-the-Face

There are people who have strange and powerful dreams, mine are mundane.  I've never been one to put much stock or meaning on my dreams believing that for the most part that my dreams were a matter of my neurons firing and connecting fairly randomly and that my attempt to interpret my dreams says alot more about my conscious state than about the dream itself.  So last night I dreamed about "pie in the face." 

In the dream I or others ran away from getting "pie-ed."  So today I looked up a definition and came up with this which perfectly described how I feel:

 A practical joke (also known as a prank or gag) is a mischievous trick played on a person, especially one that causes the victim to experience embarrassment, indignity, or discomfort. Practical jokes differ from confidence tricks in that the victim finds out, or is let in on, the joke rather than being fooled into handing over money or other valuables. Practical jokes or pranks are typically lighthearted and made to make people feel foolish or victimized to a certain degree, although in some practical jokes there could be an inherent strain of cruelty present.
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This actually perfectly describes my feeling about my dream.  Why do we run from the pin-in-the-face?  Because we are afraid to experience embarrassment, indignity, or discomfort. 

Precisely!

My life is like that right now.  I am in a tremendous amount of pain, not over a practical joke, or a prank--but, over the consequences of my own acts: lying, manipulation, gross neglect, and untreated alcoholism and depression.  I am awaiting a cosmic pie-in-the-face.

I believe that I have learned that every action of mine, no matter how large or seemingly small-- both good and bad bears a karmic consequence;  and, that in my heedlessness and carelessness and negativity I determined for my own self that I would take a pie-in-the-face.  The utter absurdity is my fretting over this--look, I don't  make light of punishment, my punishment may take me away from my family and deprive them of resources, even the scant resources that I provide; nonetheless I created these events in our lives and it is absurd to emotionally run around the room avoiding the consequences.  Take the Pie in the Face, and move on.  The people I admire in life are honest, unselfish, pure and loving--it is my hope that everyday I can move in the direction of these ideals.

3 comments:

  1. You are describing the classic Big Ass Pie. Requires a big ass duck.

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  2. I find that once I start really owning my baggage and not running away from it, then most of the anxiety/depression about my situation dissipates. "Here I am, this is what I've done, these are the steps I have taken to be a better person, and I'm doing the best I can and learning from my mistakes, so there." I try to take this attitude otherwise I descend into the abyss. I hope to practice law again and I think these hard lessons will be invaluable, even if I don't practice.

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