Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Grandiosity and the Bad Lawyer

A friend of mine of a certain literary bent, calls it a "trope." In music it is a "motive" or motif, or a theme, with me it is my character flaw--the defect in my character which the universe continues to put in my path.  My sense is that I've become indistinquishable from the Bill Murray character in Groundhog Day.  I will continue to bollix up my life until I learn my life lesson. 

As you know if you have been following along, this "blawg" was started to give me an opportunity to write about how my professional reputation and subsequently my license and perhaps my freedom is swirling down the drain--this blawg exists for the selfish purpose of enabling me to manage overwhelming anxiety, fear, dread, and depression which came riding in with the disciplinary and tax authorities.

But isn't it just priceless that in writing about my self-created professional disasters I walk right back into the shit that finds me where I am--and really that is my grandiosity.  You see it is not enough that I am a Bad Lawyer--I have to be the Bad Lawyer when all I am is another over-educated, over-intellectualizing, legal hack, and business failure and in the eyes of the IRS tax evader.  Let me say it once again, do not do what I did--in fact do not think or analyze, the way I think and the way I analyze.  Do not adopt my worldview or cynicism.  You do not have my permission to be sarcastic or dark about the world or the law.  When you read the stories I write about, here, especially about the Bad Lawyers, Judges, and Law Enforcemenet, please appreciate that they are in this blawg because I see myself in all of them. 

The world is full of lovely, beautiful and amazing things.  In my life there are lovely, beautiful and amazing people, especially my children who are my treasure, my friends, the people I work with and my neighbors.  My self-appointed role at Bad Lawyer, is to tell you about how it all happens viewing it through my Bad Lawyer-goggles.  Trust me even as a Bad Lawyer, I'm pretty poor beer.  If you glean anything from the drivel I churn out here, great--just remember any genuine wisdom I possess came from pretty garden variety failure and incompetence.  Don't repeat my mistakes, or the mistakes of the fools and scoundrels I discuss, here.

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