I am very blessed to have had a wonderful supper and conversation with my friend R-Man, last night.
R is a brilliant entrepreneur and IP-guy who took me to lunch within hours of my license suspension.
Saturday at coffee when he came into the 'Bucks he noticed me unaccustomly hunched over. R insisted that I sit up and he physically pulled my shoulders back. R clearly diagnosed my distress, dread and depression of yesterday, befroe the coffee hour expired he had made me commit to having supper with him this evening.
R-Man is a fascinating guy, his life is an adventure and with all of my friends I feel blessed to have the love and support of these friends in this time of distress. R's insight: I did the shit I did, the bad stuff and some good stuff. My job, now, is to design my tomorrow, and the days that follow. I need to shut down the "critic," my ego--that inner voice that calls me worthless.
There is at least one obvious benefit to falling, you give off pretty intense sparks. If you're lucky you can make some soul connections that you were never able to make previously, or you can intensive connections that were already there. I love the R, and my friend loves me. What a gift.
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That is great to have a friend like that, BL. I have a friend, a lobbyist, who went through alot of the same challenges I did (i.e substance abuse) who was there at my disciplinary hearing, and actully testified on my behalf. He always tells me to give myself a break, that I need to start living my life. I told you the other day I feel I am in sort of a pergatory, and not a day goes by where i don't feel some period of deep depression and anxiety, however brief that may be. The fact you are working and helping to support your family despite the difficult circumstances speaks volumes about your character. Keep on keeping on.
ReplyDeleteAnon 2:26--
ReplyDeleteIf you are going through what I'm gong through then you know how important it is to have a support system in place. I've struggled mightily not to wallow in self hatred, becuase in not accepting that on many levels I did good and worthwhile things, it is real easy to be overwhelmed by by the darkness. There is the shit that I did and failed to do, pay my bills, pay bills out of my Iolta account, and not file tax returns. Then there was lots of really decent things I did for alot of clients, much of it pro bono. I did many good things. My friends are reminding me of this history. I'm sure there are many good and worthy things you did as na attorney.
BL