I am guilty.
But you knew that. I am guilty and I intend to tell a federal judge or magistrate that I am guilty. I am guilty of not filing tax returns and not paying taxes for many years. This is a fact, and this is the outcome of years of neglect by me--the Bad Lawyer and worst businessman. I kidded myself that I could just do what I wanted to do or what appealed to me as a lawyer--advocacy; and, the business part, that I hated and which scared me--would take care of itself. I dreamed that someday I would have enough money to pay everything and everybody I owed. This did not happen. The music stopped and I had not planned to find myself where I find myself without a chair.
If you've been following my tale of woe, I made a concentrated effort to bring myself into filing compliance with the untiring assistance and loving support of my professional friends. I actually did complete this ghastly task of completing a financial autopsy of my law practice, but too late.
Let me repeat what I siad before: don't do what I did, if you are not in compliance with your tax filing obligations, even if you are afraid you owe money--don't ignore the obligation to file. I did not do what I was obligated to do, let me serve as your cautionary example.
I will enter a plea of guilty to a single felony count of willful failure to file my income taxes. I may go to prison. I originally planned to write about this a couple of months ago when this outcome seemed certain, but I did not. Instead I met with the IRS and the assistant US attorney in an effort to see if there was any alternative available to me apart from this criminal outcome. There is not.
I intended to end this blawg, at that time, but I did not. I think being able to write about what I'm going through has helped me manage and cope. I am trying to be a power of example for my kids, and while I am profoundly depressed--sinking back into alcoholism, or worse--is not a memory I intend to leave them and others. Oh, sure those thoughts are in there, but that's my ego.
It is very hard to talk about this, but I hope I will survive my shame and disgrace. Frankly what I failed to do was shameful and disgraceful--what's happening to me as a legal matter is merely the consequence I so richly deserve.