Tuesday, August 17, 2010

1000 Posts, 1-Year Anniversary, a Year of Sobriety

Today, the Bad Lawyer blawg celebrates several milestones.  This blawg began one year ago, and this will be the 1000th post.  Personally, this Bad Lawyer will celebrate a year of sobriety.

I began the Bad Lawyer blawg as an effort to deal with full-on-panic attacks, unable to sleep, and seriously suicidal.  After 27 years of practice, 30 years pursuing this profession--I knew in August of 2009 that I faced disciplinary action and potentially criminal prosecution over my taxes.  Since then, I was suspended for two years with conditions that absent some sort of unforeseen financial miracle guarantees that I will never practice law again;  I've returned to work as a W-2 employee for the first time in nearly 30 years; I pleaded guilty to one count of "attempted tax evasion" and I face sentencing guidelines of 18-24 months; and, my 17 year old, unmarried daughter is pregnant.  Someone at the office used the expression, "being thrown under the bus" then looked at me laughing.  She said, "Oh, I forgot you're not only under the bus but you're still being thumped along."

So it's been an adventure.  I will say, in all honesty I fully created these circumstances all on my own accord; and, miraculously, I've been treated decently and respectfully by the officials with the U.S. District Court pre-sentencing and probation services. Miraculously, I am the beneficiary of much love and support of many friends like my pal Chris who shot and composed the Bad Lawyer graphic and Ron who offered me a job and encouraged me when I was at my very lowest, former colleagues including the Saint(ed) Lester P. and Steve N. and the amazing former colleagues: Irving, Pat, Gail, Marcia and others too numerous to name all former peers and co-workers who against all-logic created a job for me subject to the very limiting rule of the OurState Supreme Court that, a job that nonetheless, gives me a daily sense of purpose and value.  More importantly this great job provides income and health insurance which my pregnant 17-year old daughter needs. Lest, I forger, my family that still loves me and supports me through this crazy adventure.  This is especially true of my siblings and cousins who read and write me privately about our lives and how we all got to where we are or aren't

As a career path I don't recommend this trajectory, but there are worse ways.  I hear it said:  it is better to be seen, than viewed.

I've also "met" online, many new friends, especially my fellow-blogger, Gayle, author of  the terrific and her Shakespeare Blog which continues to inspire me.  Gayle encouraged me to go on, when I was on the verge of abandoning this effort especially after it became clear that I was on the verge of becoming a tax felon. 

I received invaluable help and feedback from other "blawgers," some who have re-published or linked to my drivel.  Let me acknowledge that much better writing is out there on legal current events, but the point of this "blawg" is not scholarship or deep thought on the philosophical currents in the law.  Instead, the philosophy of  Bad Lawyer is merely to daily digest many aspects of law, lawyers, courts, characters, corruption, law making, law enforcement, and injustice through the Bad Lawyer goggles with my three decades of seeing it happen, and with the limitations you would expect from someone like me.  Nothing grand is intended.

When I began the Bad Lawyer blawg, all, I intended to relieve personal pain; and, maybe get some much needed sleep.  A year later, I've made progress.  I see clearly my role in how I ended up, here.  My sense of outrage and offense at injustice is unabated, but my personal sense of injury is fading.  I am in free fall, but my eyes are open. 

This is my 1000th post, I don't know what the future holds.  Thank God.


  1. BL, your brand is remarkable. I suspect you never were a bad lawyer. From what I've read here, from Day 1, your efforts at being a good attorney drained your physical and emotional resources, which led you to that exalted position under our collective bus.

    Many of us have come to know you as a good man, not afraid to confront the badness within. Turns out though, you're also a good bloggist. Your pain has been our gain.

    Thank you for all your goodness, Your Badness.

    Carry on.

  2. I wanted to share a devotion, a good friend of mine sent to me, on your anniversary: I know you are seeking Me for the way to present something. You know that I know and that alone is the beginning of wisdom. I have the answer to every question and need under the sun. You know and stand on that premise and this also makes you wiser. I know your deepest thoughts and even the origin of those thoughts. You found Me because I first found you. Continue seeking Me and I will lay it all out to you. Right now what you know feels like it is all in one pot, all mixed together like a stew. Record it. This will become clearer as you move forward.
    Proverbs 3:5-6 (MSG) "Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track."

    I am so proud of you BL!

  3. Congrats on reaching 1,000 posts. I wish I was as prolific a blogger as you.

    It stinks that a tax misdeed is a felony, considering how screwed up the American tax code is. All tax offenses should be misdemeanors.

    Tax reform is long overdue. I say simplify the code and implement VAT